Hindi Funny Sms | jokes | chutkule

Punam ki rat me chand badal jata hai, Waqt ke sath insan badal jata hai, Sochte hai ki apko tang na kare, Magar sochte sochte plan badal jata hai..!……………..Hindi funny sms

Dimag jiska “ICE”, Jivan uska “NICE”
Dil jiska “PURE”, safalta mile “Sure”
Najar jiski “CLEAR”, Wo bane sabka “Dear” Aisa kaun aur kahan – Main Hu Na………………………..chutkule

When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah! When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don’t breathe, you expire!

U r 100% beautiful,
u r 100% lucky
u r 100% sweet ,
u r 100% nice,
and u r 100% stupid to believe these words…………jokes

Ek BAAR SMS KAR KE TO DEKHO,
INBOX NA BHAR DOON TO KEHNA,
EK BAAR MISS CALL KAR KE TO DEKHO, BATTERY DOWN NA KAR DOON TO KEHNA, EK BAAR NAZDEEK AA KAR TO DEKHO, HAATH NA THAAM LOON TO KEHNA.

main ooske pyaar me ban gayaa baraf kaa gola……. main ooske pyaar me ban gaya baraf kaa gola….. aur woh bewafaa bolti hai thanda matlab cocacola…………..chutkule

Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I’m dropping to Airport today.
Lady: But I’m not pregnant.
Driver: But we havn’t reached airport yet.

Wives r Incoming Calls
Lovers r Outgoing Calls
Aunties r Tollfree Calls
Callgirls r Roaming Calls
Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls……………..very funny jokes on girls

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya, Class Ki Teacher Ko RAJA Se Pyar Ho Gaya. Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya, Sari Class Fail, Aur….. RAJA Pass Ho Gaya………………mast chutkule

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai? Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!…………….mast chutkule

The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time u r Born….until you fall in love………………jokes on love

Mangta hoon to deti nahin ho: JAWAB MERI BAAT KA
Deti ho to khada ho jata hai: ROM-ROM JAZBAAT KA
Kyon bolti ho ke dheere se daalo: BALON MAIN PHOOL GULAB KA………………………………………….Hindi funny sms

If ever I was rude to u, If ever I was angry with u, If ever I misbehaved with u, than dont hesitate
JUST SLAP URSELF!
galti app ke he hogi.!!

1980 GIRL
Mama can I wear jeans.
Mama no beta log kia kahng ge

2014 GIRL
Mama can I wear miny skirts
Mama pahen meri bachi pahen kuch to pahen…………………………….very funny jokes on girls

GIRLS EXCUSES : PHONE MAT KARO DEAR MOM HOTI HAI NEAR, PAPA SE LAGTA HAI FEAR, BAAT BHI HOTI NAHI CLEAR, ISLIYE SMS KARO DEAR WIHTOUT FEAR

Husband:
Ji krta hy Tumhri Zulfon men Kho jaon
Ankhon Me bus Jaun
Tumhari Bahon me Jhool Jaun
Wife:
Waheed Muraad he Rahoge Ya Kabhi
Imran Hashmi vi Bano gay.

This year is a mathematical operatin year of ‘1’
1+1=2 Add
1-1=0 Sub
1*1=1 Mul
1/1=1 Div
That is ‘2011’
Plz dont force me for nobel prize.
i hate publicity.;)

TIPS how to save 10 paisa per day.
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Isme bhi interested ho..? Kasamm se yaar..
Kaha le jaoge itna bachakar…

Ek Admi Apne Bv K Hr Kam Me Nuks Nikalta Tha
Agr Wo Anda Boil Kr Deti To Kehta K Fry Krna Tha
Agr Fry Krti To Kehta K Boil Krna Tha
Ek Din Bv Ne Dono Bana diya
Pehle To Wo Dono Ando Ko Gaur Say Dekhta Raha
Phir Kehne Laga ..
“Tmhe Akl Kb ayegi.. Jis Anday Ko Fry Krna Tha Us Ko Boil Kr Dia Aur Jis Ko
Boil Krna Tha UsKo Fry..

1 larka Charas pi k aya,
Dad se bachne k liye bari si book lekr padhne laga!
Dad:Charas Pi k aya hai?
Son:Nhi To?
Dad:Kamine, Phir suitcase khol k kya bak-bak kr raha hai..

4 Pepsi “Sharukh”
4 Coke”Aamir”
4 Limca “Riya”
4 Fanta “Rani”
4 Thumps Up “Akshay”
Dont Worry Aap Ka Naam “Desi Daru” K liye

Once santa, Computer Science student, washing his hands with Dettol
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. after removing a Virus from his System

Zindgi ke 7 Ahm kam-
1)Studies
2)Games
3)Entertainment
4)Love
5)..
6)..
7)..
??
Love ke Bad insan kisi bhi kam ka nahi rahta

Arz kiya hai..
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Ruthi hai wo iss tarah jaise hum
sach me unhe mana lenge…
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itna waqt kaun zaya kare itne me hm dusri pata lenge……………………………..hindi funny sms

“DRINKS”
D-elicious aftr 1 Peg.
R-omantic aftr 2 peg.
I-nterested aftr 3 peg.
N-aughty aftr 4 peg.
K-ing aftr 5 peg.
S-nake aftr 6 peg..

jokes, funny jokes, short jokes

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.

SUGGESTION frm NARAD :-
If ur lover sends you romantic msgs then be vry hppy
Bt
think who z sending those msgs to ur lover?
My job is over!
Nrayan Nrayan.. 🙂

jokes, funny jokes, short jokes

How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….

  1. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  2. Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.
  3. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!
  4. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  5. What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  6. What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
  7. Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”
  8. A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”
  9. I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
  10. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!
  11. What did the little fish say when he swam into a wall? DAM!
  12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. (finish this joke in your head)
  13. Where does a sheep go for a haircut? To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!
  14. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!

Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,
husband smart banke aya or bola,
“DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU?” tabhi wife zorse chillayi’
CHAKKAAAA!!!

Sardar: Why are all these people running? Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why are
others running?

ANew OFFER! Call rates ab Dimaag ke
size ke hisaab se honge.
Jitna chota dimag utne kam call rates.
Congrats!!! U r chosen for FREE CALLS

Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
Santa: Kamaal hai!
Sab ka nishana chook gaya?

Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..
Jab hota hai tera didar..
Dil darakta hai bar bar..Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar

Patient to Nurse: ‘I Love You’
Tumne to mera Dil hi Chura
Liya”. NURSE : “chal jhoota ,
.
Mene to sirf tumhaari Kidney churai
hai”

A girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why a re you late ?
Girl: One boy was following me, sir.
Teacher: So, What ?
Girl: That boy was walking very slow.

You are Bandar It means:
B= Beautifull
A= Attractive
N= Naughty
D= Decent
A= Awesome
R= Rambo… 🙂

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa Aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600?

What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool nite with bright moon lite?
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Socho ?

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BOW BOW!
What else can a dog say?

Banta: What’s the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.

Boy got a 0 in EXAM. His father asked him: YEH KIYA HAY ???
Son replies: TEACHER K PASS STARS KHATAM HO GAYE THAY UNHOON NAY AB PLANET
DAINAY SHURU KER DIYAY HAIN !!!

4 boys on bike..
Police:- triple riding is banned aur
tum 4 baithe ho…..??
Boys shocked…
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look behind..
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and says:- saalo 5wa kaha gir
gya…??

Lady Teacher: Mujhe Bachon ki Shakal se pata lag jaata hai ki Unke Dimag mai kya Chal raha hai.
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Student:”Fir bhi Ap Apna Dupatta sahi nahi kr rahi ho!

Teacher: Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Reh Jaae To Kya Ho Sakta Hai.?
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Santa: Sir,
Very Simple Sher Chori Ho Sakta Hai..!!

PriVaTe SCHooL Ke BaCHe Zoo Me: ohH!
Wow MNKy iS SLeePiNG DNT DiSTuB…..

GoVT SCHooL K BaCHe in zoo:
OYe Wo Dekh Tera BaaP So rHa H
PaThar Maar SaaLe ko….

When a woman loves you, you’re a husband;
When a few women love you, you’re a man;
When many women love you, you’re a lover;
When hundreds of women love you, you’re an idol;
When thousands of women love you, you’re a leader;
When all the women in the world love you, you’re not human but a gold, diamond, Rupee, Dollar, Euro, Yen…

What’s the most most embarrassing moment in one’s life?
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When nobody likes your Facebook status!

April Fool's Day

You Are “UltiMate”
You Are “Loveable”
You Are “Lovely”
You Are “Unique”..
In Short You Are Ullu…

Hey, know wht I Just realized ?
U r Really NICE

Coz
N nonsense
I ideas
C come
E easily come 2 u HAPPY APRIL FOOL DAY BUDDY

Aapki Chal Mor Jaisi,
Aawaz Koyal Jaisi,
Dimag Lomdi Jaisa,
Gussa Sher Jaisa,
Aankhein Hiran Jaisi,
But Kitna Achha Hota Agar
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2-3 Qualities Insano Wali Hoti…

poooN poOOn!
..
Bhooo Bhoo!
Bhoo Bhooo!
..
padar padar!
..
Pacharrr!
Pacharrr!
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Phoor phor
PhooOss!
Phoooss!
hat jaoo mere SMS ka pait kharab hai

Jab Aapko Dekhun My Dil Starts Flying,
Aapse Baat Karneko I Keep Trying,
Jab Aap Hai Door Then I Feel Like Crying,
Arey Itna Tension Mat Lo,
I Was Just Lying…

Buddy look MATRIX GRAPHIC Hw is ?
| | | | | | | | | | | | |
L L L L L L L L L L L L
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
F F F F F F F F F F F
| | | | | | | | | | | | |

Can I ask some siple Q 2 u ? Q. A place 2 swim called ?
Q. Warm cloths are made from ?
Q. lemon taste best called ?
Q. A day is celebrated for fool called ? A. POOL
A. WOOL
A. COOL
A. u r APRIL FOOL thx Quiz time is over
Happy april fool day buddy

Funny sms Urdu
Lafz lafz likhon teri tareef me,
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
lafz
kafi hain ya or likhon.

Kya Aap ne suna hai..?
BBC per
CNN per
IBN7 per
AAJTAK per
NDTV per
nahi suna..!
Radio Mirchi per to suna ho ga..!
Ager phir bhi nahi suna to Ab Parh Loo..
Today is “April fool day” N 1 F(O_O)L is reading this msg Very carefully…..

Hurry up. Fill in the blanks with “Haan” or “Nahi”
1:____ main insan nehi hoon.
2:____ main hi chor hun.
3:____ main hi pagal hun.
haPPY aPril fOOl daY deaR

Arz kiya hai….
Apki zindagi me kabhi koi gam na ho, Apki aankhe kabhi aansuon se nam na ho; Apko mile roz-roz nayi Girl Friend, Jinki umar 80 se kam na ho.
Happy April Fool Day Dear…..

  walk on ur own path

luv in ur own ways

talk in ur own words

do wat ur heart says Do wht yur luv to do

n then,

1 day world will say nalayak kisi ka sunta hi nahi…….